So in the absence of Conservatives and Labour, I'm left with 12 illustrious candidates. Get voting!
Elvis Loves Pets, David Bishop
Beer, Baccy and Crumpet Party, Ray Hall
Monster Raving Loony, Howling Laud Hope
National Health Action, Iain Maclennan
English Democrats, Michael Walters
Liberal Democrat, Mike Thornton
Updated to include Ray Hall, who was spotted on polling day, 28 February.